Red Herrings and White Elephants Read online

  When something is In The Offing it is considered to be likely to happen, possibly imminently. The origin of this saying can be found on the high seas in the 17th century. ‘Offing’ was nautical slang for ‘offshore’ and a ship approaching a port or coastline, close enough to be seen from land, was considered to be ‘in the offing’.

  To Push The Boat Out is used to describe a large celebration or expense. This is obviously a nautical expression and relates to the large parties and celebrations sailors would have before setting out on long voyages. A ‘pushing the boat out’ celebration was always a popular one to attend.

  When we look out of the window and it is Raining Cats And Dogs, it is too wet to go out. There are several suggestions for the origin of this phrase, one alluding to a famous occasion when it actually rained frogs. Apparently many were lifted into the air during a howling gale and then dropped to the ground around startled pedestrians. Cockney rhyming slang then substituted ‘cats and dogs’ for ‘frogs’.

  But I prefer the ancient nautical myth, which led sailors to believe that cats had some sort of influence over storms. According to the Vikings dogs were also a symbol of storms and they always appear in illustrations and descriptions of their own Norse god of storms. (Odin, father of Thor, was the god of thunder and is described as an old bearded man with one eye who wore a cloak and wide-brimmed hat. Many claim he was the inspiration for JRR Tolkien’s character Gandalf in The Lord Of The Rings.) Because of this connection, ancient mariners believed that when it rained it was the cats who caused it, and when the gales appeared they were brought by the dogs, leading to the phrase ‘raining cats and dogs’.

  The phrase first appeared in literature in 1738 when Jonathan Swift wrote in his book A Complete Collection Of Polite And Ingenious Conversation, ‘I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.’ In 1653 Richard Broome wrote in his play City Wit, ‘It shall rain dogs and polecats,’ suggesting he too alluded to the old nautical tales.

  You Scratch My Back And I’ll Scratch Yours is a saying with its origins in the English Navy. These days we use it to suggest two people will do each other a favour, or look out for each other so that both parties benefit from one another’s actions. During the 17th and 18th centuries the English Navy was traditionally brutal and punishments for disobedience or absenteeism were unimaginably harsh. It was common for a crewmember to be tied to a mast after being sentenced to a dozen lashes, with a ‘cat o’ nine tails’, for minor offences such as being drunk. A ‘cat’ was nine lengths of thin knotted ship rope bound at one end into a handle. These punishments were usually carried out in full view of the crew, by one of the victim’s crewmates. But it was also likely that the crewmate would himself be a victim of the cat o’ nine tails at some stage on a voyage, so would be lenient with his victim by applying only light stokes and merely ‘scratching’ his back. He himself would then receive equally lenient treatment by another shipmate if and when he was on the receiving end.

  When you find a person Three Sheets To The Wind they are roaring drunk and capable of very little. There are two suggested origins for this phrase. The first is that a windmill with only three sails (sheets) would rotate badly and wobble like a drunk. But the second is far more likely, especially as, like so many phrases, it has a nautical origin. The sails of a tall ship were controlled by rope (the rigging) and these ropes were–and still are–called ‘sheets’. Two sheets controlled each sail and the story is that if one of the sheets wasn’t properly handled, then the other three (of the two sails) would be ‘to the wind’. The boat would then be blown about from side to side and not under full control, much like a drunk trying to navigate his way home.

  Shipshape And Bristol Fashion is used to say that everything is neat, tidy and in good order. In the days before Liverpool became a major English port, Bristol was the premier western port from which most ships would embark on transatlantic voyages. It was also a naval port and prided itself on its reputation for efficiency and neatly packed cargoes. The traditional high standards of ships leaving Bristol lead to the phrase passing into the English language.

  To Sling Your Hook is often used as a ‘polite’ instruction for somebody to go away. There are several possibilities for this, some referring to the hooks miners or dockers hung their day clothes on during a shift. But the earliest reference is again a nautical one with the hook being a ship’s anchor and the sling being the cradle it rests in while at sea. To ‘sling the hook’ meant to be upping anchor and leaving harbour.

  Son Of A Gun began as a dismissive, contemptuous remark, although now it has developed into a more friendly expression, often implying shock and disbelief. Back on the high seas, in the days when women were allowed to live on board the ships, unexpected pregnancy was a regular occurrence. The area behind the mid-ship gun, and behind a canvas screen, was usually where the infant was born. If paternity was uncertain, and it isn’t hard to imagine this happened more often than not, the child would be entered into the log as the ‘son of a gun’.

  Another nautical phrase widely used is Spick And Span. These days it indicates something that is new, clean and tidy. Back in the ancient shipyards a ‘spick’ was a nail or tack (a spike) and a ‘span’ was a wooden chip or shaving. Newly launched ships, with wooden shavings still present and shiny nails, would be regarded as ‘all spick and span’–brand new.

  A Square Meal is used to describe a good, solid dinner. It is a nautical phrase dating back centuries. Old battleships had notoriously poor living conditions and the sailors’ diet was equally bad. Breakfast and lunch would rarely be better than bread and water but the last meal of each day would at least include meat and have some substance. Any significant meal eaten on board a ship would be served on large square wooden trays which sailors carried back to their posts. The trays were square in design to enable them to be stored away both easily and securely, hence the phrase ‘a square meal’.

  These days Swing The Lead is a metaphor used to describe somebody who is avoiding work by giving the appearance of toiling, but not actually doing anything. It is a phrase with its origins in naval history. Aboard ship it was the job of a leadsman to calculate the depth of water around a coastline by dropping a lead weight attached to a measuring line at the bow end. As the easiest job on board it was usually given to a sick or injured seaman and many feigned illness in an attempt to secure such light work. The phrase came ashore and is now used to describe anybody making excuses or simply going through the motions.

  A Washout is a general failure where no trace of any effort has been made. This expression has its origin in the way the old tall ships passed messages to each other. Naval signals would be read and then chalked on to a slate before being passed to the correct authorities. Once the message had been received, the slate would be washed clean so that no traces of the message would be left other than in the correct hands. This was known as a ‘washout’ and it is easy to see how the phrase spread into wider use on land.

  To be Under The Weather means to feel unwell and unable to function properly, and is yet another phrase with its origin out at sea. In days gone by when a sailor was ill he would be sent below decks where he could recover. Under the decks and ‘under the weather’ his condition could begin to improve.

  If we are told to Whistle For It the inference is that we are highly unlikely to get the result we want. This is another expression dating back to the early sailing ships circumnavigating the world. The belief among some sailors was that when the day was still, and the sails empty, they could summon the wind by whistling for it. Other sailors disagreed and felt whistling was the Devil’s music and instead of a gentle wind arriving a fierce storm would appear. This also explains the origin of the phrase ‘whistling in the wind’. Often, whistling would bring no change in the weather at all (no surprises there) but it did lead to yet another saying, ‘neither a fair wind nor a storm’, meaning the action altered nothing at all.

  2: MILITARY

  Once
The Balloon Has Gone Up you know there is trouble ahead. During the First World War, observation balloons would be sent into the sky at the first suspicion of an enemy attack, in order to monitor distant enemy troop movements. To most this was a sign of impending action. During the Second World War, strong barrage balloons connected to the ground with thick steel cable were raised around English cities. The idea of these was to impede enemy aircraft, which might crash into them in the darkness or clip their wings on the steel cable. Often they also protected cities from enemy missiles, which would hit a balloon and explode before reaching its target. Their success was immeasurable but to city folk the sign of ‘the balloon going up’ meant an impending air raid. Trouble was indeed ahead.

  To Beat A Hasty Retreat means to abandon something, to leave quickly and avoid the consequences of remaining in the same position. This term dates back to the time when a marching army would take its orders from the drummer. Positioned next to the commanding officer, the drummer boy would beat the orders to an army on a battlefield. At night time, or during a battle when things were not going well, the drummer would be ordered to beat a ‘retreat’ and on hearing the signal a fighting army would immediately cease battle and return to company lines as quickly as they could.

  To Bite The Bullet is to carry out a task against the doer’s wishes. It means getting on with something that just ‘has to be done’. This phrase has its origins in the British Empire as the Victorians made friends around the world at the point of a gun. At the time of the Indian Mutiny, gun cartridges came in two parts with the missile part being inserted into the base and held in place by grease made of either cow or pork fat. To charge the bullets the two parts had to be bitten apart and the base filled with gunpowder before they could be fired. This task was usually left to low-ranking Hindu soldiers to whom pigs are holy animals, sacred and not to be desecrated. However they were forced, against their wishes, to ‘bite the bullet’ in times of battle.

  To Chance Your Arm is to take an uncalculated risk, where the outcome is completely unknown: a blind bet, if you like. There are several suggestions for the origin of this saying, one being that military men, whose rank was displayed in the way of stripes on their sleeves, would take battlefield risks, which could equally lead to promotion or demotion, depending on the outcome.

  A better explanation (at least one that is more fun) dates back to Ireland as long ago as 1492. During a feud between two distinguished families, the Kildares and the Ormonds, during which Sir James Butler, the Earl of Ormond, and his family took sanctuary inside St Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin. The Kildares laid siege outside until Gerald Fitzpatrick, the Earl of Kildare, decided the feud had gone too far and attempted a reconciliation. But the Ormonds were suspicious of his offer of peaceful settlement and refused to leave the cathedral. As a desperate measure to prove his good intentions Fitzgerald ordered a hole to be cut into the cathedral door and then thrust his outstretched hand through, putting his arm at the mercy of those inside as it could easily have been cut off. Instead, Butler took his hand and peace was restored. It is not known if that is actually the origin of the phrase, but it should be.

  To be Sent To Coventry is to become a social outcast and be ignored by everybody. But why Coventry? During the English Civil War in the mid-1600s Coventry was a strong Parliamentarian town, and Royalist soldiers, captured during the early battles in the Midlands, would be sent to nearby Coventry where they could be certain of a frosty reception. Long before the days of prison camps soldiers loyal to the King could only wander around town looking for food or work but locals would refuse to speak with them, and would even turn their backs and ignore their presence completely. Back then the only entertainment to be found was in local inns but Royalists were barred. Coventry was clearly no place for them but, short of walking back to London, and starving on the way, there was little option but to stay and scavenge. In some cases Royalist soldiers who were deemed useless or not quite committed to the cause would also be garrisoned near Coventry, assuring them of a miserable posting by way of punishment. The idea was that, as no loyalist wanted to be sent to Coventry, they might show more commitment to the King in battle and avoid the posting.

  A Feather In Your Cap means you have done something well and it has been duly noted, although not rewarded by any tangible means other than by having a ‘feather placed in your cap’. Its origin seems easy to explain. Any Indian brave fighting for his tribe in America, who killed an enemy, was rewarded by having a feather placed in his head-dress. The most prolific braves would have a headband full of feathers. However, four hundred years prior to this, in medieval England, battlefield bravery was rewarded in a similar way. Knights who had shown great courage were also afforded plumes to wear in their helmets. The Black Prince, 16-year-old Prince Edward, the Prince of Wales of his day, showed such courage at the Battle of Crecy in 1346 (the first great battle of the Hundred Years War) he was awarded the crest of one of his defeated enemies, John of Bohemia. That crest, of three ostrich feathers, remains the crest of the Prince of Wales to this day.

  The phrase Pull Your Finger Out is associated these days with encouraging someone to get a move on, or hurry up and complete a task more quickly. Like so many English phrases it has a military or naval origin. Loaded cannons would have gunpowder poured into a small ignition hole and held in place with a wooden plug. But in times of battle, when speed was of the essence, the powder would be pushed in and then held in place by a gun crewmember using his finger. Impatient artillerymen, anxious to fire their cannons at the enemy, would shout at the crewmember to ‘pull his finger out’ so that the gun could be fired. It has not been recorded how many digits were lost on the battlefields.

  Flash In The Pan is used to describe something or somebody making a great impression at the outset but ultimately failing to deliver any real result. Of military origin the phrase emerged during the use of early flintlock muskets. Sometimes gunpowder would ignite with a flash in the lock-pan but the main charge failed to light, meaning the shot in the barrel did not discharge, so no harm could come to man nor beast that time round. It was a ‘flash in the pan’ and the expression was in regular use by 1741.

  To Throw Down The Gauntlet is to lay a challenge, originally of combat but latterly to any form of contest. A gauntlet is a medieval armoured glove, forming part of a knight’s suit of armour. Traditionally a knight would challenge another to a duel by throwing down his gauntlet. If his opponent picked it up it meant he was accepting the challenge and battle would begin. Taking Up The Gauntlet has since been a phrase used for accepting a challenge. The Swedish word ‘gantlope’ (see Run The Gauntlet) was anglicised to ‘gauntlet’ as a result of this tradition, but ‘running the gauntlet’ and ‘throwing down the gauntlet’ are not otherwise connected.

  Hanging Fire is often used to describe a pause before beginning a task. Sixteenth-century muskets were always slow to fire their charge due to the delay between lighting the gunpowder in the touch-hole and detonation. This was known at the time as ‘hang-fire’ and the expression was soon used to describe any person delaying or slow to take action.

  To Be Hoisted By One’s Own Petard means to become a victim of your own deceit, or caught in your own trap. In medieval times a petard was a thick iron container which was filled with gunpowder and set against medieval gates, barricades and bridges. The wicks, however, were unreliable and often detonated the gunpowder immediately, blowing up the engineer in the process. In which case he was ‘hoisted (blown up) by his own petard (container of gunpowder)’.

  To take someone Down A Peg Or Two means to reduce their status among their peers. It is possible the origin of this phrase is found at sea, and the peg used to fly a ship’s colours. The lower the peg, the less impressive the achievement. But there is also a reference dating as far back as the 10th century and King Edred’s anger at the amount that his army was drinking. Aware that he needed his soldiers sober for the great battles against the Vikings, Edred ordered pegs to be put into
the side of ale barrels and no man was allowed to drink below the level of the peg in a single sitting. But as soon as this rule was applied soldiers would drink from other people’s kegs and take them down a ‘peg or two’.

  3: LITERATURE

  Dickens was certainly good at inventing phrases. One of them was Artful Dodger, which is used to describe somebody involved in crafty or criminal practice. One of Dickens’s characters in Oliver Twist (1837) was Jack Dawkins, a wily pickpocket and expert member of Fagin’s gang of thieves. During the story the author gave Dawkins the nickname ‘The Artful Dodger’. Almost immediately the Victorian public adopted the phrase and it was used to describe any crafty rogue.

  To have Cold Feet indicates a loss of nerve or to have doubts about a particular situation. This phrase has its origins in the gaming world, albeit a fictional one. In 1862 Fritz Reuter, a German author, described a scene in one of his novels during which a poker player fears losing his fortune but does not want to lose face by conceding defeat. Instead he explains to his fellow poker players his feet are too cold and he cannot concentrate. This gives him a chance to leave the table and then slip away from the game. It is not known whether Reuter was drawing on a real life experience (as many novelists do) but his scene certainly appears to be the origin of the phrase.

  To Curry Favour is a phrase used to describe keeping on the good side of somebody, carrying out acts to keep in favour. The origin of this phrase does not lie in Indian culture, but in the ‘Roman de Fauvel’, a French satirical poem written in 1310 and popular for centuries. Fauvel was the name of the centaur (half-man, half-horse) who was a beast of great cunning and danger, and to keep on the right side of him sycophants would spend time grooming Fauvel to keep him in a good mood. The art of grooming or dressing a horse is known as ‘currying’ the animal and therefore those seeking to keep in the centaur’s good books could be found ‘currying Fauvel’. Over the centuries, and through translation, ‘Fauvel’ became ‘favour’.